When I used to order a salad, it was a chef’s salad or something laden with fat. I’d choose cheese and meats, and load on Thousand Island dressing. It was never “healthy”, even though in my brain, I felt good because I had a salad for lunch. Of course, my salad crammed more calories in it than a Big Mac.

These days, my salads look a little differently.

I made a salad last night, and it really caught me how much my eating style has changed. In my last night’s salad, I had:

Iceberg, Romaine, Baby Arugala, Baby Spinach lettuces

Carrots

Apple

Red Onion

Egg Whites

…and only used Balsamic Vinegar.

I had a great mini-vaca to Florida. I got home last night, and this morning jumped right back into clean eating and keeping track of everything.

I did some good things, and some not so good things on vacation. I chose fruit for a snack on two occasions, but I chose peanut butter cookies twice also.  I chose turkey, took a grilled chicken sandwich off of the roll, and had an egg white omelet, but I also chose to eat a few chips with one sandwich, and chose to add mayonnaise to another sandwich.

I also knew coming home that for 2 weeks, I’ll be keeping track of every ounce of food I eat, measuring, checking, double checking and keeping track of calories to a tee, while we work on figuring something out.

I let go a little more than I should have, but on the other hand, I was surprised when I’d catch myself, and make a good choice again. I was more lax than I should have been, but then I also made some redeeming choices without much thought.

Either way, I’m home now, and back on track. Thursday through Sunday showed me just how easy it would be to get back into the habit of bad patterns I once had on a daily basis.

I’m on my way to Florida this week. I’m taking a mini spring fling with my sister and we’re going down to the Sunshine State for some relaxation, sun and fun.

I’ll have four days of having to choose my food at restaurants, take out, or at the pool deli. It’s a challenge, but I think I’m up for it. I know what healthy choices are, and it’s up to me to take what I’ve learned and use it in any circumstance.

Just because I’m away, doesn’t mean I have to let my intentions slide.

My goal is to have fruit for snacks, make healthy choices and to eat clean whenever the option presents itself.  I’ll let you know how I did when I return.

Look, these last 12 weeks weren’t golden for me….but I’ll be okay. Here you can see the hard work I’ve been putting in. You can see changes from September to April in these comparisons. Don’t cry for me Argentina…I’m not done.

okay, these next pics…it’s embarrassing to post, because I look so “UNDONE”, but that’s the point..this is me after workouts…truth, no makeup, no hair done, no styled look, etc…A lot of bloating is gone, lost in my neck, face, chin area

I lost 1 1/2 inches in my arms. I gained close to 2 pounds, and nothing else. (probably muscle gain)…I started to cry a little today….it overwhelmed me…I’m working so hard, seriously, I’m freaking dripping with sweat when I leave…I’m working hard….I’m eating clean…i go to the trainer 3x a week now…

She’s as baffled as I am…and going to talk to another dietician to see if they can try to crack my code. I had told her I have a VERY HARD time losing when I walked in months ago.

It didn’t SURPRISE me, but it hurt that I didn’t see better numbers. (emotionally)

I have to remember that yes my body is changing, just not at the rate I’d like.

Honestly, I’m just tired of being fat, and I want to look better so badly, I can taste it..ya know….

Don’t worry, I won’t give up…but I felt a little deflated and frustrated….I’ve been so good, worked so hard…

My body has struggled for years, anytime i’ve done things…and I have to accept I’m undoing 20 years of abusing my body. The mental hurdles and barriers I’ve broken are worth it at this point.

I’ll be okay. Was down, but talked to my husbandl, and he confirmed what I all ready know…I’m working super hard, eating clean, and my body is changing….just a little at a time.

No exciting news.

My workouts will continue, I’ll continue eating clean…because I FEEL GOOD, STRONG and HEALTHY.

I get my assessment done on Thursday. How far have I come in the last 12 weeks during this challenge? I’m nervous…what if I’m disappointed in my results? Will it be another stumbling block for me? I’m trying to mentally prepare myself, so I don’t get into a funk, if the numbers don’t match what I would like.

Either way, I’m plugging on. I’ll continue this journey and go as long as it takes to get me to the end. My visits to the gym aren’t going away anytime soon. In fact, I’m at 3x a week through the rest of April and May. I’ll be back at 2x a week for the summer, since I have a busy schedule.

Technically, I’m done having to keep a food journal to bring in. I talked to Danielle (my trainer) about it, and she said that regardless, it’s important to keep journaling for myself. It’s easy to fall out of pattern, not keep track, and next thing you know….you’re gaining weight, because you cut corners. Write it down, get used to it….it’s a tool to keep me on track.

I’m going to bring some of that journaling here. This way, I have a record of what I’m doing, along with accountability. I don’t plan on writing my daily eats here each day, I’ll do that on a small journal I have at my desk. I will post each week how I’m doing, if I had challenges and so forth.

Today, I feel like I’m inching closer to normal. (My mindset of normal, not normal by any one else’s standards, since we all have our own). I don’t want to stand out as “the biggest person” in a room. To me, normal means blending, fitting in, not being obviously larger than everyone else. What’s your idea of normal?

It’s the wrap up of the challenge I’ve been a part of, and my timing couldn’t be worse! I’ve been sick all week, and had to reschedule my regular workouts. Between congestion and coughing, along with an achy body, I’ve had a rough time.

I get back into the gym today for a workout, though I’ll have to take it at half-pace, since I still have a lot of congestion, and get short of breath more easily. I was hoping this bugger would be out of here sooner, but it knocked me out for a full week. The coughing was to the point that my husband ended up sleeping in the other room for a couple of nights, since I kept waking him. Sorry hon.

Either way, I’ve worked hard during this challenge to stay on track, eat clean and work out. One week isn’t going to make or break me….but, it did throw me for a loop.
Thumbs up to everyone who took part in the challenge, and good luck to you during your assessment.