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I saw someone today that I haven’t seen in about 6 weeks. I walked in, and she said, “You look great.”

Really? Do I look different? I can’t see it, because I see myself day to day, but it’s been a bigger gap of time for her. She was sincere, but of course in my head, I start to think, maybe she’s just being nice, since she knows I’m working out…why do I do that? Why do I discount words when it comes to my body?

I realized today my confidence has taken some heavy blows over the years, and I’m just starting to get it back. There’s a web design job that is right up my alley, and I can’t make myself contact the person. What if I can’t do it, or it doesn’t look good? Trust me, their outdated site that looks like a kid’s site couldn’t get much worse, but I still hold back. I’d rather not get the job than hear rejection. I have samples of my work, so they’d see what I’ve done so far.

I’ll bend over backwards to be an over achiever in my world, but I’m so afraid to trust I can carry that same thing to someone else. What if I let them down? On the other hand, if the pay isn’t worth my time, would I turn it down, or just be grateful to have the job? I discount my own value at times, and I’m teetering between the idea of contacting them, and then reeling at the thought.

I’m not looking for my life to change drastically when I lose weight. I live a very busy, full and happy life, but I would like to revisit with my confidence. I’ve missed it these last few years.