Fried WikiAll things Food, Diet and Weight Related

Wonder where I’ve been? I made a decision to take a break for awhile. I felt like I was spinning my wheels and getting no where. I started  to obsess and just felt myself slipping into a depression.

It sounded something like this in my head: I’ve worked hard for a year, and I’m still fat. I could have done nothing and stayed in the same place. It hurts inside more knowing how hard I worked at change…

I hit a point one day; after seeing myself in a store mirror. I didn’t look like the strong woman I felt like. I looked like another fat lady who lacked self-control and let my body end up looking like this.  Strangers walking by didn’t know I’d been working with a trainer for a year. Nobody on the outside knows that…they see me, and they see the shape of my body..and that’s all they see.

I took a break. I’m on break until I think early October. It’s not written in stone yet, but that’s my goal.

Thursday I pulled something, and yesterday and today I’ve been having all sorts of fun with it. My gluteus maximum pulled and has been in spasms, shooting pain to my lower back and hip in th process. My husband smiles and says I should tell my trainer about my lovely “pain in the ass” as he continues smirking. I told him “No thank you, I’d end up with a lecture, because I haven’t stretched enough.” I knew it was my fault…I got a massage, I’m popping Advil, and slathering on menthol cream in the process.

The hiatus is helping me. I’m not obsessing about food, and doing okay. I’m coming out of the pit I was sliding into emotionally, and for now, that’s enough.